Hey all. Just wanted to give you all a quick run down of what’s been going on with me lately. It’s been a few weeks since I posted here, but that’s not to say I haven’t been busy.
I can’t remember if I mentioned this already, but about two months ago my psychiatrist started me on Buspirone (Buspar) for anxiety. It was supposed to complement the Paroxetine (Paxil) I’m taking for depression.
It did NOT work. In fact, it made me feel worse within the first two weeks. I became overly anxious, restless, irritable, and feeling like I had critters crawling under my skin and scalp all the time. It was brutal. I’d be up for 24-30 hours at a time and then sleep for 12-15 hours straight, just from sheer exhaustion. Worse yet, I kept getting the urge to punch people in the face whenever they said or did something I construed as ignorant or stupid, which brings me to the next part of my post.
I’ve been trying to get my doctors letters together for the disability retirement application I put in earlier this year. Everything that needed from me was taken care of early. One doctor had already done his paperwork months ago. I was left with a pouting neurologist who says it’s not her responsibility to handle such; take it to my PMD. I did. They don’t do disability exams. This nonsense went back and forth for a couple of months. You can understand how I got to the point of wanting to punch people in the face, right?
Thank God I had an appointment with my psychiatrist the day before the deadline. After she told me I looked like shit, I told her I’d explain later if she could take care of the issue at hand. Long story short, it was my psychiatrist who came to the rescue. She did her own exam, filled out the paperwork, wrote her own narrative, faxed it and handed me the confirmation.
After breathing a huge sigh of relief, I explained EXACTLY what was going on with the Buspirone and how it was affecting my moods. I started to cry and asked her if there was going to ever be a possibility that I could ever act normal. I might have said something along the lines of ‘not act crazy’, because she said, “You’re not crazy, you’ve been under a lot of stress”.
We couldn’t discuss much more because of the time spent on my paperwork, but I’ll be seeing her again in a few weeks and we’ll be discussing more options then.
Just wanted you all to know that all is well and didn’t want anyone to worry! Hugs to all. Until next post…