Redefining Disability Challenge – GRIEVING WHAT ONCE WAS

Hello blogger friends and welcome. Here is another post for the redfng-disblty2Redefining Disability Challenge started by Rose B. Fischer. If you click on the image to the left, you can see exactly what it’s all about and feel free to join. Answer as many of the 52 questions as you like, or the ones that pertain to you. There is no time limit. Answer them in one post, one a day, a week, or whatever fits your needs.

I’m going to spread the questions out over the remainder of the year since a lot of the questions pertain to me already. For today’s post I’m going to answer question(s) 22.

 22. What would you tell someone who has recently been diagnosed with your disabilities or disabilities that you are familiar with?  That’s a tough one. I know, because nothing anyone said to me when I was coherent enough to understand what was going on, made me feel any better.

It was as if I had to go through all five stages of the grieving process to get to where I am today. I would tell people they would most likely experience something similar.

Denial – Refusing to believe the diagnosis is true; there must be some mistake.

Anger – Expect it. Even now I have moments of anger, but nothing compared to what I first felt.

Bargaining – I tried a lot of this with God for a good three years during recovery. I pled all the time. ‘If you’ll just make me whole again and let me get back to EMS, I promise I’ll be a better EMT, person, friend… You name it, and I tried to bargain for it.

Depression – This went hand in hand with the bargaining. I still suffer from depression, but it’s mostly under control. I pray a lot, meditate, and focus on the things I still CAN do. I would tell anyone suffering depression after being diagnosed with a chronic illness or major medical incident to PLEASE get help if they feel too overwhelmed and helpless.

Sometimes family and friends aren’t enough. There is no shame in seeking professional help. Almost five years post-bleed and I still see my neuro-psychologist and psychiatrist. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Why? When all is said and done, I want to feel BETTER.

Acceptance – This took the longest for me. I know that everyone is different and processes their emotions and circumstances their own way. The only thing I can say to survivors is that eventually it can get better. Accepting the changes will come. Although I accept the ‘new’ me limitations and all. I’m still striving toward a better outcome: Fewer deficits, a sharper, more focused mind, and a chance to return to the workplace as a contributing member of society.

Most important, never give up on yourself. The body is an amazing creation. You have the power within you to make positive strides. Remember that.

 

 

 

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About My Miracle Life

I'm a writer, blogger, avid reader, book reviewer, sub-arachnoid hemorrhage and stroke survivor, moving forward in my recovery and trying to advocate for stroke and brain hemorrhage awareness and prevention. I'm also slowly working towards independence, driving, my first novel, a memoir and a series of short stories. I've been lucky to have a very small network of close friends to guide me; I've been even luckier to have found an online 'family' of sorts to help me through the rough times.
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9 Responses to Redefining Disability Challenge – GRIEVING WHAT ONCE WAS

  1. melissamaygrove says:

    You have a wonderful attitude for all you’ve been through. 🙂

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  2. Great job, Eva. You have things all sorted out and that’s helping you improve.

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  3. Those phases are all something a person has to go through and for everyone it’s different.

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    • I agree, Alex. Everyone handles things differently and in their own time. While some rise quickly to their challenges, others take more time. I think the basic process is universal, whether it’s because of a medical diagnosis, death of a loved one, or loss of a relationship. Love you little/big brother. Xoxoxo

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  4. Jo Wake says:

    Alex is right. You can’t really tell anyone how they will react to similar circumstances although I do believe anger is a constant. You seem to be handling things very well nowadays although I have only come in late in your struggle. Wish you lots of progress. Love and hugs Eva.

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    • Thanks, GMD. I’ve run the gamut of all these emotions. I handle things the best way I can and with a lot of help from my doctors and from the people who care about me. GMD, you came into my life when I needed you. All of you did. I’m in a much better place now because of my FotD. Even Dr. D knows and has commented on it when I’ve brought it up. I love you.

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  5. lexacain says:

    You’re so brave and courageous. I’m sure I’d keep re-hashing the first four and never make it to number five. I admire you so much!

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